I don’t know about you, but December life in a congregation is a little crazy. First, there are numerous additional and different activities and worship & social offerings. Then there’s the fact that many meetings have been moved up or around or possibly cancelled; others have workloads you’re desperately trying to finish up before the end of the year. Then, of course, there’s the holiday itself: shopping, wrapping, baking, cards and if you’re lucky, invitations of various kinds, plans and beds to be made up. The holiday comes, and it, too, can be a kind of whirlwind – schedules all askew, for wonderful or challenging or even lonely reasons.

The temptation, of course, is to have fun and then come back raring to go in the new year. But over these many years in ministry, I have found that if I do that, I can return to my congregation, my colleagues and my beloveds perhaps cheerful, but often just as spent and with no focus for the part of the year that needs a great deal of care, attention, and planning. Mid-year reviews; budget planning, long range planning, justice work and showing up fully present to people who are hurting, worried, struggling; each of these deserve my all.

That’s why, several years ago, I adopted the practice of resisting my most painful urges and to do a time of silence, reflection, prayer, reading and quiet thinking and planning. This allows me to resist a headlong fling back into work, becoming swept up – and away –  in the fast-moving energy that January and February plans in churches always bring. I can be more sure I’ve at least taken some time to reset my nervous system from anxious or overwhelmed to something more centered, so my footing in the fast-moving streams of life are more grounded. I want to be able to respond, rather than react. 

I’m on day two of mostly silence, and I am becoming more conscious of my anxiety, what is swirling and fretting me, my genuine concerns and sorrows I’ve left too long untended. Experience has now led me to trust that if I remain thoughtful and present, and allow things to arise, be observed, reflect and give some care to my own swollen, tender and broken heart, I may not be magically healed, but I will find a different way to hold all that is mine to hold. And by taking this time for myself, at a time when everyone is calling me back to the busy-ness of the world, I am trying to be able to bring a better self back with me – because you deserve that. 

I wish for you some quiet time, even in your day-to-day, to check in with your heart, see where you truly want to head, and to find new ways to bless the world. See you in church.

With love,

Rev. Audette