Resources

Dealing with Death (Grief)

The Dougy Center website has information about developmental (age) responses to grief, ways to help/tips, and more. You can find good links on left side of grief resources page here. Under the grief resources tab for some additional tools.

Our House Grief Support Center has some good resources. Some additional resources on their site can be found here.  

Books:
Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie (Author), Robert Ingpen (Author) (we have a copy in our RE library)

Lifetimes tells us about beginnings.

And about endings.

And about living in between.

With large, wonderful illustrations, it tells about plants.

About animals.

About people.

It tells that dying is as much a part of living as being born.

It helps us to remember.

It helps us to understand.

The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr (Author, Illustrator)

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney story

Ghost Wings Story by Barbara Joosse

Why Death is like the Banana Tree Based on a folktale from Madagascar. From Tapestry of Faith, Love will Guide Us, Love is Eternal.

Long, long ago when God made the first man and the first woman and prepared to put them on the Earth, God asked them if they would rather die like the moon or like the banana tree.

Cry, Heart, But Never Break by Glenn Ringtved (Author), Charlotte Pardi (Illustrator), Robert Moulthrop (Translator)

Aware their grandmother is gravely ill, four siblings make a pact to keep death from taking her away. But Death does arrive all the same, as it must. He comes gently, naturally. And he comes with enough time to share a story with the children that helps them to realize the value of loss to life and the importance of being able to say goodbye.

Tragic Events in the News

Unfortunately we encounter these news reports of horrific events all too commonly these days. That doesn’t mean we should start to ignore them or how they might be impacting our children and youth. As children grow, they are learning of these tragedies in a different stage of development than perhaps with the previous events. We should be mindful that they may be hearing about these for the first time or processing them from a new perspective and with new fears, sadness, anger, or other emotions.

It is important for our kids to recognize that, as UUs, we can and will treat people from all backgrounds with respect and love and pay special attention to those in vulnerable populations.

We encourage you to take action: When tragedy has struck our Muslims or Jewish siblings we created and delivered cards showing our support. You can do this at home and send it yourself “from a UU friend” or bring to church and we will deliver locally. Other ideas: chalk some love notes around town (message ideas here); write a letter to the editor; learn about Judaism oir Islam, including the differences and similarities to UU; make eye contact and smile at those who appear different than you (religious or otherwise); point out that one of our UU sources we draw from is “Wisdom from the world’s religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life” (see all sources here)… what other ideas do you and your children have?

Also, how are you doing? Remember we have pastoral care through our ministers and volunteers if you or a family member is needing some support or processing right now.

Conversation Resources for Tragic Events
You know your child(ren) best and can modify these as you think best for your family.

1. Gun Violence and Mass Shootings: Table Talk for family conversations
   Simple tips at the beginning. Later goes deeper w/ details about recent (2015-18) shootings, then at bottom question prompts and how to take action.
2. Hand in hand parenting article: Helping Children Exposed to Shocking Events
3. Good links to guide discussions (families or RE teachers):

Full packet w/ age-based resources, lesson plans, discussion prompts, etc.

4. Teaching Tolerance: Pittsburgh Shooting Reminds Us Why We Must Talk About Hate – There are some good resources through this Teaching Tolerance link. It contains an excellent perspective and call to action by educators (see intro at bottom). Below the pyramid of hate images and paragraph on the website, Teaching Tolerance has several links to teaching aids, including a film that can be streamed; school climate resources (one called Speak Up at School); lesson plans for Being an Ally, Advocate and Activist, another one for Contemporary Antisemitism and Youth; and more.

Other resources for helping children following traumatic events

The Fred Rogers Company: Resource for Helping Children Deal with Tragic Events

Talk about it: How to help your kids deal with trauma in the world

Helping Your Children Manage Distress in the Aftermath of a Shooting

Unitarian Universalist Trauma Response Ministry has several resources for children following traumatic events and death

UU Asheville has a Faith Formation Library!

There is a room tucked at the back of Lower Level Commons that has a small library for families with books for parents/caregivers and children. See the library catalog Helen and Jennifer Abbott created.

We also have a selection of books in the Lower Level Commons and other Faith Formation classrooms. Want to borrow some? Fill out the info on the clipboard in the Faith Formation Library, use gently for a few weeks, and return materials back in place.   Be sure to mark “returned” on the clipboard.

Note: Please don’t confuse this with our “Little Free Library” outside the playground. The books in the Faith Formation Library are for borrowing for a short time while the Little Free Library is one from which you can take and give.